When I Didn't Have You
by PadfootSawyer
Summary: Sulley and Boo one-shot. When Boo is left an orphan and trapped in Monstropolis, Sulley must decide what to do with her. A bit AU after the movie.


It was much harder than he remembered. And he continuously thought back to that day more than a year ago. When his world had turned upside down and not for the better. But he'd bounced back; found a way to move on and had adjusted to unforeseen circumstances.

But here. Now. He physically could not let the girl go.

And she didn't seem too eager to leave him behind either.

Which wasn't helping.

If only Mike were here... But he wasn't. He was with Celia in their home. In the suburbs. Sulley had been left alone.

Or so he thought.

Only days after his solitary living in his own apartment, Boo showed up in Monstropolis. How it exactly had happened Sulley was left to guess and he'd never found out how all the puzzle pieces fit together. But he hadn't given it much thought either.

Boo had been his. Officially. After showing up in Monstropolis, her door went through drastic changes. First, it was taped off by yellow tape with "Do Not Cross" scrolled across it. Sulley hadn't wanted to find out what would happen to him if he were to actually cross it, so he kept Boo with him in his apartment and brought her to work with him every day, going to check the state of her door at least once a week to see if things had changed.

The yellow tape eventually disappeared and Boo's door began to fade and look even more forlorn than it did on his side: pieced together after being shredded which, in Sulley's mind, was a real accomplishment.

Sometimes Sulley even went to the other side of the door to see if it would be smart to bring Boo back to her home.

No one was ever there. Sulley couldn't leave her alone. So he kept taking care of her, Boo easily adjusted to her new life and slowly claimed Sulley's heart as her own.

At six months, Sulley saw a "For Sale" sign at Boo's now vacant house. Boo's door was no longer her home. Sulley didn't see this as a bad thing. At first, he was absolutely ecstatic: he and Boo could continue their life together. He would never tell anyone, but ever since his best friend had been married, Sulley had been lonely. Boo mended that. The two of them had become a family.

And Sulley loved it.

Soon, he couldn't even go to check on Boo's house anymore; a new little boy had moved in with his family and he now lived in Boo's old room. The door changed colors, the flowers disappeared, and Sulley finally began to wonder what on earth he was going to do.

He loved Boo, more than he thought was possible, but she deserved to be brought up in her own world. By her parents, if Sulley could ever manage to find them.

Sulley really began to look then. Thoroughly search. And still nothing.

A whole year passed before Sulley grudgingly came to a decision: Boo's parents were gone. To where, he was sure he'd never know. But she had to go back. Hiding Boo from everyone, including Mike and Celia, was nothing short of a chore and Sulley didn't want Boo to hide for the rest of her life. She had to go back.

To an orphanage. And now. A few more years and she would be too old to be adopted. Sulley understood how that went: parents wanted a young child. One they could still mold and influence.

And Boo was at that perfect age. And she was adorable. And even-tempered. And generally happy.

She was perfect. Anyone who said any different was plain crazy. Insane. Off their rocker.

Now. Here he was. Saying good-bye to the thing that had turned into his entire existence. Most likely forever. There would be no way to track where Boo would end up. Besides, she was starting to get too old for this. Having a monster as a best friend.

It wasn't heard of.

Sulley tightened his arms around her small frame, tears spilling from his closed eyes.

He couldn't lie, not even to himself: he'd hoped this day would never come. He selfishly wished she'd never return and that Sulley would adopt her and she could live her days dressed as a monster...

But what kind of life was that? Hiding who you really were? It wasn't much of one. And Boo deserved only the best.

Which didn't include Sulley.

Sulley sighed and ran his claws through her hair gently.

"I love you, Boo."

"Love you too Kitty." Amazing what one year did to a child. He could keep her here, see who she would become...

No. This had to be done. No matter how unpleasant.

And it was. So unpleasant.

Sulley pulled away only to look into Boo's small face.

"Now, you be good, OK? Don't try to steal midnight snacks too often. Don't run off in the middle of the grocery store to hide from your parents. And don't EVER un-roll the toilet paper. Ever." Sulley smiled at the memory, causing Boo to giggle slightly.

His eyes pooling with tears again, Sulley ran his thumb down the side of her face before picking her up.

Sighing deeply, Sulley opened the dull wooden door before him.

Boo would not be coming back through that door.

_~~PS~~_

"You say you've never seen her before?"

"Yes Detective. One day things were just going along like normal and she shows up out of nowhere. It's very strange. None of the teachers know where she came from and nor do any of the children. I appreciate you coming down to look into this; I would imagine you have quite a busy schedule." The headmistress glanced back at the detective following her and smiled.

He did not smile back.

"I do. But the chief wants this looked into. So here I am," the detective said. The headmistress nodded and opened a door, walking in with the detective on her heels.

"Hello there," the headmistress said gently. A small figure on the other side of the room didn't move. It sat in front of the closet door. As if waiting for something to come through and take her away.

"She does this a lot. We can't get her away for too long or she becomes fussy. She even sleeps on the floor there."

The detective didn't say a word. Just crossed the room so he was next to the girl. Then he seated himself next to her, crossing his legs.

The headmistress left them alone.

Detective Carlton looked at the small girl in front of him. Who was she? Where had she come from? And why was she so interested in a closet door?

He would find out. He always did.

"What are we waiting for?" he asked gently.

She didn't respond.

"Is there something in the closet?" he questioned.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye only to return her gaze to the closet door a moment later.

"There is. What is it?"

Nothing.

"Is it a monster?" he asked jokingly. She turned her head to face him, her eyes wide and her mouth turning upwards.

"Is there?" he asked seriously, standing and moving to open the door. The girl stood too, eyes glued to the frame in front of her. Carlton swung open the door.

An empty closet. The child's shoulders slumped. She sank to the floor and started crying softly to herself.

Carlton left the closet open and sat beside her again. He laid a gentle hand on her back.

"It's OK. It's OK. I don't know why you like the closet so much or where you came from but I promise we'll find you a home. You don't seem to be too much of a bother. And you're cute. You'll be adopted soon.

"You know, my best friend has a little girl right about your age. She loves this movie called _Anastasia_. Have you ever heard of it?"

Nothing.

"Well, in the movie, there's a princess who is lost and is in an orphanage. She's just like you. And she gets a happy ending. It's not the ending she thinks she's going to get but she's happy."

The girl looked up at him. The sight of her melted Carlton's heart. He tentatively scooped her into his arms and held her to him. She grabbed his shirt and cried into his chest. He let her.

After several minutes, the child calmed down enough to sit in silence.

"What's your name?" Carlton asked, wiping the tears from her face.

"Boo."

_An odd name_, Carlton thought. Of course, she could have misunderstood the question. He decided to try again.

"Where are your mommy and daddy?"

"Gone."

"Gone where?"

"I don't know."

"Did they disappear?" She nodded, settling herself more firmly in his grip. He stroked her hair.

"Well, you're gonna be just fine, Boo. Is that your real name?" The child hesitated.

"Anastasia," she finally said.

"Oh, you like that name do you?" he asked, chuckling slightly. "Well, alright, I won't deny you that. But how about we shorten it? Anastasia is so long. Very pretty. But long. How about Anya? Do you like that name?" She nodded.

"Anya it is then." Thinking he'd gotten everything he could out of her, Carlton made to set her back on the floor so as to go tell the headmistress what he'd found out.

But the girl - Anya - clung to him and cried out. He pulled her back to his chest and she immediately calmed down.

"OK," he said. He stood up slowly, Anya in his arms, as he left the room. She clung to his neck as they left. As if she'd never let him go.

He supposed that would be fine. He was single, recently divorced. Being wanted by this small child was heart warming and comforting in a strange way. Maybe he could take her out to lunch or something... Or maybe even more if the two of them continued to bond.

But that was far in the future. He had to concentrate on the here and now.

Carlton didn't see Anya wave good-bye to the closet door as the two of them left the room.

_~~PS~~_

Sulley leaned against the doorframe of Mike's old room which had been redecorated for Boo.

Boo was gone from the orphanage. A detective had adopted her. That was all Sulley knew. All he could know. If he found out anything else, he'd be tempted to visit her and that would do more damage than help in her adjustment to the normal human world.

He didn't want that. He wanted her happiness.

Sulley hoped she was happy. His eyes wandered all over her bedroom in his apartment that would always be hers. He wouldn't change it anymore. He would keep it the same. Not even clean it up.

This was how she left it and this was how it was going to stay.

Did she have a teddy bear in her new home? Purple walls? Flowers on her bedspread?

Did she have anything that would remind her of him?

_Stop,_ he told himself. _You'll just drive yourself crazy. She's better off._

Sulley closed her door.

_But you might not be._


End file.
